JFK to Dubai…when jet setting isn't glamourous

Trees (WTF) at JFK....

Last time I'd look fresh faced for 36 hours!

My Boeing 777 to Dubai

So my first major flight (after my quick Jet Blue up to New York) was my 13 hours to Dubai from JFK. This leg of my journey would be in economy on Emirates, nothing new there as I always fly economy, but normally this flight isn’t full and I get to stretch out a bit… not today..

Ready to be a sardine for 12 hours

Rammed.. that’s the technical term, and I know what it’s like to be a canned sardine… It wasn’t so bad for me as I had my Unisom (sleeping tablet) but when the plane is full little things start to irritate the f*** out of you… here are today’s top beefs…

1. You have a nice aisle seat, (I used to be a window girl but on these long haulers I like to get up and have a trip around the cabin ‘cause of the DVT thingy-me-bob), and you considerately get up probably 6 times during the 13 hours… remember I’m asleep most of the time! And still your fellow passengers want to get up an additional 7 times… err people any chance of you getting up when I do? And you saying…’ Oh you are so considerate’ and ‘oooh we’d travel with you again’ (not F****** likely!) does not somehow make everything OK.

2. When you sit within in such close proximately to other people have some consideration. Please do not sit there for the last 3 hours of the flight snorting back your snot,,,I;m just saying,

3. If you are a wide hipped person when walking the aisles any chance of turning sideways - the reason I used to sit in the window is you.. My left arm is bruised and tender.. and if the Indian lady two rows up had knocked me awake one more time there was going to be some air rage. I myself have great childbearing hips, so I am always careful when I take my little sojourns around the cabin.

4. Men…please sit down to pee. Tuck little jimmy between your legs and enjoy the rest. My socks are still slightly damp, if you get my drift.

5. The aisle is small, you can fit one person at a time in it, so when the plane arrives at the gate how about we make an orderly exit .. you know one person gets up and the people behind let the other two out before they try to squeeze past… common courtesy people..

6. My last moan is reserved for the rude Chinese girl at the scanners…ok not exactly on the plane, but come on, you watched me with my two pieces of hand luggage get the two trays out ready to put all my liquids, my laptop and my shoes in for scanning, and what did you do… pinch both of my trays and then stared vacantly as me when I tried to get past you to get some more,, if you are going to pinch trays at least barge forward and get past me… grrrr

Anyway I’m writing this from my business class seat on the way to Melbourne via Singapore….. And no I didn’t pay for it. That’s what miles are for aren’t they…upgrades? Just about to get my sleep pad to cover my seat, my fluffy blankie and my noise cancelling headphones to watch my 23” screen, whilst my back is pummeled by my in chair massager…oh and did I mention the 5 course dinner? More about how the other half travel in my next blog… for now, goodnight!

Bon Voyage...

Ok so there now enters a few days (at least) of blogging tardiness as I start a 36 hour journey to Australia... I'll try and take pics as I go, but to be honest, travel for business is rarely that interesting... but you never know who or what you'll see, so I'll keep my fingers crossed for something exciting... The one good bit of news is that on the longest leg I have bagged myself a business seat, rather than cattle class, so rather than looking something like this for 16 hours...

I will look something like this....

And before you ask, I didn't pay for it... there has to be some perks to flying thousands of mile around the globe each year ;-)

Drug enduced shoe heaven.....

I am suffering from "Blirony" ..My friend Anne invented the new syndrome called 'Blirony'. If you suffer from Blirony, you are a blogger who is ironically doing so many things that there is insufficient time to blog about them.

I have 100+ photos to edit from a  trip to the zoo Sunday, two restaurant reviews to write and more importantly I want to show you my new shoes... I know, probably my male readers aren't interested in my new shoes but the ladies (maybe not aforementioned Anne who lives in Crocs and boots) will lurve them...

I've found this shoe shop called DSW(Designer Shoe Warehouse).. I'm sure if you live in the States you have one nearby. I was supposed to be out shopping for pants (that's trousers for my English readers) and knickers (that's pants for my English readers... WTF?) ... and that was a joy in itself... its great to replenish your knicker draw with lots of new stock... and hubby like the modeling session (enough of that!)...anyway.. back to DSW.. they should re-name it 'DSH' - Designer Shoe Heaven... OMG.. row after row of pretty shoes, nearly everyone available in my size... the only option is to start one end and work your way to the other.

So by half way I'm carrying 3 boxes already.. they need carts in this please, holding onto them like they were the 'precious', snarling at anyone coming close to me... well it wasn't quite that bad, but I was definitely in some sort of a drug shoe enhanced state...

Then in my euphoric state I stumbled over a seat and all my 'precious' boxes went flying - look out for me on one of those candid camera show.. I was half expecting all the youngsters in there to whip out their iPhones and upload me to YouTube, but curiously they were all walking around in the same euphoric state... I swear that I have never see so many happy women in one place at one time....

Anyway.. the trip knocked some sense back into me and I put back two boxes, reducing my bill to $56...that's better.. and these are my 'lovelies' (I will just explain that I have a love for all things that look like animal print, although I have long since given up my 'cow' outfit)

Lush shoes....

What do you think?

Incidentally Gary was not really impressed with my new shoes, and is guarding the suitcase to stop me packing for Australia...I haven't the heart to tell him I'm taking the other case....

Guarding the 'wrong' suitcase

Is it wrong to want a minivan...?

Loving this new 'commercial' by Toyota.. almost makes minivans cool...enjoy!



Now you've had a laugh at that check out one of my favourite bloggers who made me cry with laughter this morning... Out-numbered . I will never be able to hear Taylor Swift again without smiling!

Dog Park Saturday!

Hubbie was working this Saturday, so I decided after visiting the gym to take Gary to the dog park. It was a little hot, but with the big doggie swimming pool there I knew he'd be ok.

Well Gary met some new friends and one of the two legged owners had a spiffy camera for taking action shots, he got this great one of Misty, his dog and Gary, who had a great time chasing each other around. Excuse how messy Gary is.. the dirty mutt loves to jump in the pool and then roll in the dirt / sand..nice.. he still has a dirty face now!

Check out the little sausage dog.. didn't take any nonsense from anyone and kept stealing the tennis balls!

Gary & Misty making friends.. sausage dog causing mischief

It's love I think!

Chase me chase me - Gary corners on rails!

Naughty little Sausage dog!

Its BBQ season again!!!!!

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity .

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three metre exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities cantake place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...

(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great.He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND

HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12)The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off 'and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!


Please direct my husband to this post!

The Wonderer returns...

I know you didn't miss me but I'm back. Back from glorious Jamaican weather to glorious Florida weather... ok so we didn't go for the weather but we topped up on relaxation, fun and cocktails of all descriptions!

4 nights of Sandals and I feel like a new woman... raring to go (until I leave my office and see all the washing that needs doing!).

I'm not going to dribble on too much about it, but here a few pics for you .. you'll get the drift.. lazing around reading, drinking cocktails and eating too much... I was very proud of myself ... I didn't log on the whole vacation and only phoned to see if Gary was ok ( not missing us one bit) at doggy daycare..

I loved Jamaica, and the people were amazing..we're already planning next year...

Gary wishes he'd been able to come to Jamaica

Reading my book view no. 1

all I was allowed to take of hubby

from lunch spot

Our villa

catch a ride here after too many cocktails

amazing fan palms

new spot on beach

rocking the new hat

maids had nothing better to do!

breakfast location

Is it wrong to make your dog pose with Red Stripe?

Vacation preparation...

I've been busy this week... what with lots of work to finish off, a stack of ironing ( and when I say stack, I mean STACK - I hate ironing, I normally like to save pile of it for when my friend Anne comes, but she doesn't like me anymore and hasn't bothered to visit) (Only joking Anne..do you want to book a holiday when I'm back from Aus?)and there is the packing...Packing, where are you going Clare?

Well, I'm off on a little sojourn to Jamaica actually (Whoop Whoop). Consequently this week has been manic. Today is nails day (you should see them) and I pity the poor girl when she starts on my feet.. don't quite know what has happened to them these past two weeks but they look something like this....

Maybe not quite this bad!

Hoping by this afternoon they will look like this!

Then its a home to touch up the gray... yes, not only am I not a natural blond, I have tons of grey too!  I don't know what my natural colour is anymore its been so long that I've been dyeing it. Unfortunately whilst my Mother is extremely youthful in the face (hopefully this will pass down to me!) she went grey very early in life and I followed quickly behind.. so in between highlights I have to touch my grey up every 2-3 weeks... nightmare!

I've booked Gary into Doggy Daycare for the weekend - he goes to Dog Day Afternoon. He always has a great time and gets to play all day with the other dogs! I did tell him this morning that he was going on his holidays and didn't get much response..

Gary not taking any notice of me ..

I'm not having my dog ignoring me, so I coaxed him up and got him to sit and listen me ..

'Gary, Mommy loves you, but she's leaving you for 4 days at Dog school. You'll have a great time, and wont even miss us'

 As you can see, he doesn't care a hoot...and what tongue!

Maybe get one more post in tomorrow before I leave, but if not, Bon Voyage...and I'll be back with an irritating amount of tropical pictures next week xx

Think of me when I have to get off my sunbed to swim to the pool bar...


UPDATE....

Nails buffed and shined, I look like a human again, although as I chose to have 'holiday, no work nails' I now cannot type!

Gary ..loving the taste of my new nails!

Time to look past Fox & CNN

Life passes us by so quickly, that we rarely have time to absorb, let along read / listen to all the news that is happening. I find media in the United States atrocious. The same stories repeated 10 times an hour, over and over, with just a different perspective dependent on whether you are watching Fox or CNN. I therefore turn to NPR radio news for a bit of un-biased and innovative reporting and the BBC website for all else, and it is here that I pick up all sorts of gems every day, none of which would ever make national headlines…

Whilst my husband gets ready at a ‘cover my head with the duvet’ early every morning I scroll the latest news headlines on my Blackberry to see if anything interesting is happening in the world, here are some stories of note that you may have missed….

Interesting story no. 1

Hugo Chavez, the Venezuelan president well known for his marathon TV addresses to the nation, has taken to Twitter to share his thoughts.

After he promised to "let loose" on Tuesday night, a Spanish-language tweet duly appeared on his new chavezcandanga account 14 minutes after midnight. It was a simple message to say he was off on a working trip to Brazil. By morning the leftist leader, a divisive figure at home and abroad, had nearly 29,000 followers on Twitter.

With his popularity dented by a recession and soaring inflation, the Venezuelan leader has often been out maneuvered by opponents more active on the web than his supporters, correspondents say.

His 1st Tweet! - Hey how's it going? I appeared like I said I would: at midnight. I'm off to Brazil. And very happy to work for Venezuela. We will be victorious!!

A close aide, Public Works Minister Diosdado Cabello, announced on Monday that Chavez supporters planned to "storm" social networking sites. "The opposition thinks it owns the social networking sites - they think Twitter and Facebook belong to them," he said. "We're fighting and there are seven million of us who will have Twitter," he declared, referring to the membership claimed by Mr Chavez's United Socialist Party.

Mr Cabello promised that the presidential Twitter feed would carry messages "from our commander".

Well I’ve just signed up for Mr Chavez’s Twitter rants (in Spanish), he now has 189,000 – not quite the 7 million he was hoping for.. I mean who does he think he is, Ashton Kucher?

Interesting story no. 2

German man 'marries' his dying cat

A German man has unofficially married his cat after the animal fell ill and vets told him it might not live much longer, Bild newspaper reports.

It says Uwe Mitzscherlich, 39, paid an actress 300 euros (£260,$395) to officiate at the ceremony, as marrying an animal is illegal in Germany.

Mr Mitzscherlich said he had wanted to tie the knot before his asthmatic cat Cecilia died.

The cat and groom have lived together for 10 years.

"Cecilia is such a trusting creature. We cuddle all the time and she has always slept in my bed," Mr Mitzscherlich, a postman from the eastern town of Possendorf, told Bild.

Actress Christin-Maria Lohri, who officiated the ceremony, was quoted as saying: "At first I thought it was a joke. But for Mr Mitzscherlich it's a dream come true".

Interesting (& heart warming) story no. 3


A miniature horse named Einstein is vying for the title of world's smallest horse.

Although currently unverified by the Guinness Book of Records, the one-week-old youngster stands at 14in (35.6cm) tall, weighs just 6lb (2.7kg) and is 7in shorter than the average miniature foal says Judy Smith, who bred the pint-sized pony in the United States.

His owners Charlie Cantrell and Dr Rachel Wagner say they plan to keep him at the New Hampshire farm where he was born.

My advice to all is look past the mainstream for something a little more entertaining, informative and mind broadening.

My new hat (and a laugh for my readers)!!

So, I am lucky enough to be off soon for a little 'sojourn' to Sandals in Jamaica. Quite frankly it can't come soon enough as hubbie is desperately in need of the break (of course working from home people think I'm on one long break grrr). Anyway, digressing as usual, I needed a new hat. Getting older has made me think about my skin alot more (I have an aunt who looks like a leather bag from over exposure). It's not easy in Florida, but I religiously now wear my factor 85 face cream and on vacation when I'm in the sun constantly I like to wear a hat. I did have a lovely, if cheap, straw cowboy hat from Target of all places, but it has mysteriously gone missing (?)- dog or husband probably to blame, so today I'm again with hat!
Let me just say before letting you laugh at the pictures, that my head is very large and I am limited in hat choices, most perch like a one legged bird on a telephone wire on my head, so the slightly elastic head band is perfect for me and to make things even better it has wire around so you can change the shape... It's environmentally friendly ( made of recycled paper!) will pack flat, and was, wait for it........ $13.56 (inc tax)...thank you Marshalls!...
Enjoy!!!

Floppy....

Cowboyish!

No, I wasn't naked (husband comment) see green strap!
and no I can't smile...I was concentrating on holding the camera!