JFK to Dubai…when jet setting isn't glamourous

Trees (WTF) at JFK....

Last time I'd look fresh faced for 36 hours!

My Boeing 777 to Dubai

So my first major flight (after my quick Jet Blue up to New York) was my 13 hours to Dubai from JFK. This leg of my journey would be in economy on Emirates, nothing new there as I always fly economy, but normally this flight isn’t full and I get to stretch out a bit… not today..

Ready to be a sardine for 12 hours

Rammed.. that’s the technical term, and I know what it’s like to be a canned sardine… It wasn’t so bad for me as I had my Unisom (sleeping tablet) but when the plane is full little things start to irritate the f*** out of you… here are today’s top beefs…

1. You have a nice aisle seat, (I used to be a window girl but on these long haulers I like to get up and have a trip around the cabin ‘cause of the DVT thingy-me-bob), and you considerately get up probably 6 times during the 13 hours… remember I’m asleep most of the time! And still your fellow passengers want to get up an additional 7 times… err people any chance of you getting up when I do? And you saying…’ Oh you are so considerate’ and ‘oooh we’d travel with you again’ (not F****** likely!) does not somehow make everything OK.

2. When you sit within in such close proximately to other people have some consideration. Please do not sit there for the last 3 hours of the flight snorting back your snot,,,I;m just saying,

3. If you are a wide hipped person when walking the aisles any chance of turning sideways - the reason I used to sit in the window is you.. My left arm is bruised and tender.. and if the Indian lady two rows up had knocked me awake one more time there was going to be some air rage. I myself have great childbearing hips, so I am always careful when I take my little sojourns around the cabin.

4. Men…please sit down to pee. Tuck little jimmy between your legs and enjoy the rest. My socks are still slightly damp, if you get my drift.

5. The aisle is small, you can fit one person at a time in it, so when the plane arrives at the gate how about we make an orderly exit .. you know one person gets up and the people behind let the other two out before they try to squeeze past… common courtesy people..

6. My last moan is reserved for the rude Chinese girl at the scanners…ok not exactly on the plane, but come on, you watched me with my two pieces of hand luggage get the two trays out ready to put all my liquids, my laptop and my shoes in for scanning, and what did you do… pinch both of my trays and then stared vacantly as me when I tried to get past you to get some more,, if you are going to pinch trays at least barge forward and get past me… grrrr

Anyway I’m writing this from my business class seat on the way to Melbourne via Singapore….. And no I didn’t pay for it. That’s what miles are for aren’t they…upgrades? Just about to get my sleep pad to cover my seat, my fluffy blankie and my noise cancelling headphones to watch my 23” screen, whilst my back is pummeled by my in chair massager…oh and did I mention the 5 course dinner? More about how the other half travel in my next blog… for now, goodnight!